The Omnipedia - lighter side of Election '08

Ok, after observing 15 months of criss-crossing the the country, rubber chicken, sniper fire, and righteous indignation, one thing is for certain: there are more new, first-time Democratic primary voters than ever.  

But do they understand campaign lingo?

To help them with confusing politico latte-liberal speak, I have compiled a list of translations for the lay person.

Poverty Czar. We want to feed, house, cloth and educate the poor.  Solution: give them a King.

Superdelegate. Fellas that get 1,000 nice emails a day until they pick a champ.  Then they get 500 nasty emails a day.

More on the jump!

Surrogate. Someone who can get you into trouble by opening their yap.

Denigrate. He's being dissed!

Deride. She's being dissed!

Pejorative. I'm gonna apologize about dissing you, but I'm gonna use one of those big college words to do it.

Disingenuous.  You're being bamboozled!

Stump Speech. You know how Gramma says the same thing every time you see her?

Superdelegate. Fellas that get 1,000 nice emails a day until they pick a champ.  Then they get 500 nasty emails a day.

Red Phone.  Phones that only ring at 3 am.

Daily Tracking Poll.  Numbers everyone watches.  Everyone then agrees the numbers are meaningless.

Caucus. Overfilled, noisy rooms, full of neighbors you never much liked.

Primacaucus.  Texas Political Pasta.  Made with Old El Paso Salsa.

Mark Penn. The guy whose name is the butt of lame politico headlines... "The sword is mighter than the Penn!"

Poverty Czar. We want to feed, house, cloth and educate the poor.  Solution: give them a King.

Credentials Committee. The Denver Bar Bouncer.

Math. Something that's irrelevant.

Decry. No way.  WAY.  NO WAY!

PAC Translation:  Bad. BAD! Baaaaaaaad. (cf. Lobbyist)

Lobbyist. Translation: They just wanna give you money so you'll listen to them.  Waitasecond.  Where do I sign up to get some?

Please feel free to suggest more!